29 Jan

And Death Showed Up Again…

Last Sunday was my best Sunday (possibly even best day) of 2010. I awoke at 5am to spend a few more precious minutes with my brother who I hardly ever see, he was returning to Nigeria after a “long” 3 day break with us. Having packed the chicken I made for mum and said our goodbyes, it was only normal for me to tumble back into my warm bed considering we were all up jisting till 2am. But when I looked around I realised I was in an oasis of peace – kids still sleeping and hubby out, thought it would be best to recollect my jumbled up thoughts and spill it on paper. 

I love to journal. I love to write, period, but journaling carries even more weight than mere writing. This is where no holds are barred, all thoughts are poured on paper and the only other person present is the Lord. God speaks to me and teaches me stuff I would otherwise miss as I buzz around my activities daily. Stuff like the fact that I am perfect for God. Not just perfect but beautiful.  God points out how talented I am. He shows me visions of where my life is going to, if I get off my behind to do what I should. This is where all doubts and insecurities about my abilities are severely dealt with- and they are plenty- doubts about my abilities as a mother, a friend or a business woman or even as a child of God.

And so I write happily away. Layers of pent up fears and aged stresses are peeled away, I have no idea that thousands of miles away in a house in California is a grieving family. Wife pregnant, children very young.  It’s members are  still trying to come to terms with the awful fact that their head was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. And while everyone was busy praying and being baffled, Emeka Dillibe died.

Now I’m not going to pretend that he and I go so way back that I’ll miss him daily, yes we did go way back to secondary school but didn’t stay in touch. I feel sad because his entire life has now been condensed into a few pages on in-memory-of.com.  Now if Emeka had spent his life sitting by the wayside waiting for whatever life threw at him to be aimed perfectly into his open palms, we could possibly fit his life on one page along with a few black-and-white passport photos. But that wasn’t his life. He’s was a rich, colourful, generous one. The type that changed the course of other people’s  lives- people who would otherwise have become nothing but sidekicks sitting by the wayside with palms wide open.

Emeka will actually be missed, i.e people will notice he is no longer around. Somewhere in a village in Nigeria, children’s lives are being touched daily because he single-handedly refurbished the school. And the church. And he set up a youth charity. And he coached under 14s in soccer. And he was a father, a father to be, a husband, a son, a brother and Lord knows what more. As I read the memorial I had to stop and think about your’s truly and what she was bringing to this table called life. I would like to be described as selfless, influential, honest- in fact every adjective that this man was described with. Yes I may not have known him that well, but when I grow up, I want to be like Emeka.

Rest in Peace brother!

http://emekadillibe.memory-of.com/About.aspx

10 Dec

Death’s Sting

Jim Rohn passed away on Saturday. I didn’t know the man personally, I never met him but I would recognize his voice if I heard him speak because  I listen to him regularly thanks to my small collection of audio CDs. Jim was a motivational speaker, successful entrepreneur, author, philosopher etc. He was funny and witty and genuinely wanted to touch people’s lives by constantly staring them toward success, and he did. I think he knew Christ but I’m not certain, I hope so.
I guess that’s what started to bother me. He lived a full life and died at 79. He impacted millions of people’s lives. As at last night there were nearly 4,000 names on his tribute page- that’s a lot in three days!

The last time a death disturbed me was Michael Jackson’s. And the time before that was a former schoolmate’s that I hadn’t seen in over 20 years. Unlike many of my school friends, Jide wasn’t one of those I got reunited with. As a matter of fact I never actually thought of him at all, there was no real reason to. But when I heard that he passed away suddenly I was perturbed to say the least. It bothered me because I knew he wasn’t the most popular kid in school, so of course I started to wonder what life as an adult was like for him. You may already know about my hyperactive imagination. Armed with memories of over 20 years ago I began to carve out Jide’s life for him- it was a sad one too, not that I wanted it to be but that was how my mind chose to weave his story. The story carried on from how unhappy he was that he wasn’t the coolest kid with the coolest nickname. Do bear in mind that the boy never told me this, it is all the workings of an animated psyche. For all I know he could have been the happiest kid around! Then I began to feel really guilty that he had this unhappy life. I felt bad when I learned that he even lived in the same city as I did for years. It got worse as I faced up to the fact that if I had found out that we lived near each other I probably wouldn’t have bothered to visit him. But all was forgotten when I was told he knew the Lord! I was also assured that he had no lack of friends.

Here’s my conclusion: No matter how full or how empty one’s life turns out to be, what is truly lasting is the positive impact you make on others’. To have 4000 mourn you in a couple of days is no small feat especially without being a rock star. And no matter what impact you make on their lives, there is no impact greater than staring others in the direction of Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God. In the same vein our knowledge of Christ should lead us to have fulfilled lives so that if we do die empty,  it will be because we gave away so much and not because we had Christ lacking. I pray that you live long and full and die empty.

www.punkinpatch.co.uk

www.punkin-patch.com

07 Jul

Farewell, Michael

We just watched the Memorial on Michael Jackson. I’m glad its over. I’m glad I can now get back to life like it was before he died.

Then again I’m not quite sure I  can or want to do that. You see before Michael died, I didn’t think about how sad or happy his life was. I didn’t think about his daily battles. Worst of all I didn’t think about whether or not he had a relationship with Christ. Now I can’t stop thinking about that all important question, where is Michael now?
He was indeed an incredibly gifted man, yes his music and memories live on but the gifts and talents died along with him. Life is indeed like a mist. Like a mist the talent is gone. Like a mist that pure, beautiful voice is gone. Like a mist that charming smile is gone.
The world has been part of a memorial never to be forgotten, with so many words of love for this man. I pray he is indeed at rest. I pray that his death causes so many to run to Christ with the realization that no one on earth has the final say in their life.
I also feel ashamed at how little my life has impacted people. Michael touched people with his music and his money.
Lord, please hide my life in your hands, you have the final say. I’d rather you had my life than me, I can’t take care of it. I love you Jesus. Adieus, MJ.