29 May

Packed Train: Thoughts on the Undergound 2

  Internal dialogue with girl on the train whose headphones have some serious audio leakage:
“Do you have any more Lauryn Hill? I’m not feeling this track, I don’t do garage music.”

Why do people going to the airports have to take the train? Can’t they just…walk?

Sloane square. I pray everyone gets off and no one gets on. Great. Everyone gets on, no one gets off.

That woman with the white hair is so irritating. Do you think the girl with the blue floral blouse has a catching disease? Move closer in Jor. It’s a packed train!

*offers seat to senior*
“No thanks I’m getting off soon”
So am I- but I don’t say that. It’ll give the impression that I only offered because I was getting off anyway. But I promise you that’s not the case. I was on my phone googling …. I didn’t see her, honest. I don’t know why it’s so important to me to hope she knows this, that I really wanted to give up my seat for her.
 
The guy next to me. His ring tone is the theme song of The Good, The Bad & The ugly. If you’re under 40 years old, just let this one go over your head and gracefully move on to the next.

One day when I have a PA, she’ll go through my inbox and delete every email. Then I’ll put my nose up, pout my lips and strut like I’ve got it going on. Okay i won’t put my nose up, I’ll just pout.

Justjoxy has finaaaaaaly written another blog post- she writes mainly about food or fiction. Exceedingly good read, always. Check out this chicken recipe.

This guy looks like a venture capitalist- the type that invests in tech startups that gross £1m in revenue in the first year and then suddenly goes bust. He will then go on to launch 2 further companies, make an undisclosed amount rumoured to be around the £2bn mark then retire to raise ducks in the countryside. 

Man in the lilac paid shirt. You must have enjoyed your lunch. I can tell you had Mediterranean sauce with your chicken salad. The issue is, if you happen to be single, and tonight you meet the girl of your dreams- you’ve probably blown it with that stain on your shirt. Next time, be sure to wear navy.

Smart & trendy guy in the grey blazer, black and white check shirt and dark denim jeans. Nice attire!

Just seen a newspaper article headline- Bank Holiday traffic will be ‘worst in 3 years’. I promise you, if there was nothing bad to report, the news will read like this;
‘This morning, everyone in the world could have died in their sleep but they didn’t. It was however, a very close shave”. They’ll then dig up some old scientist who lives behind Tesco to come and explain how there is a 0.000000000000000001% chance of a meteor wiping out life on Earth on Monday morning. 

Have you read Thoughts on the underground 1? That was on the Jubilee  line, I think my thoughts vary per tube line. Next time we’ll venture on the central line and see what happens! Thank you for reading, have a lovely long weekend!

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